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When a door closes behind you,
getting back in is a matter of choice
I know you’re not convinced
but if you cut through the noise
and get to that pain once again,
it will change your life.
This is my palace, my prison, my forest,
this is my voice,
here are my memories.
Please meet my war, my love, my struggles and hate.
Look. Listen. Take a peek if you wish.
If you cut through the noise
and get to that little old heart once again,
it will change my life.
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The train moves pretty fast by now
Trees all morph into thin, horizontal passing lines,
there's colour outside the dirty window.
Wind sneaks into the train, it bites and it hurts to the bone.
All my friends are somewhere else now.
All the time in the world is just a second,
just one second.
Sure, it may seem long to you now but trust me,
look out the window when the train moves really fast and you'll understand:
time never heals any wounds, no...
Time is a bastard in love with a song,
the beat of our hearts
and it plays it, it plays... us until we just can't play anymore.
Everybody's friends are somewhere else sometimes.
I remember... not sure what but I'm sure I remember,
there's a part of me that once was and now it is not anymore.
I wish I knew how to live when I was younger...
We never listen, we never care enough.
The train moves really, really fast.
You are somewhere else now.
I think we're getting ready to stop.
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4. |
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I should find my way out of this broken ship,
I should swim for my life without questioning if
there's a shore, there's a light, there is hope
where the sea meets the land.
I'm not sure why I'm speaking these words right now,
I'm not sure if the shore's truly there
and I'm lost in the fear that I'm truly lost
even from my own heart.
I should brave the storm without blinking an eye,
it should be easy to finally say that goodbye
I was holding inside for too long
'cause we don't do that here...
I should be my own man when the going gets tough,
I should fight with the waves, tell the storm "that's enough"
But I can't get a grip on my words
And I feel like I've already drowned...
The sea is finally silent now
and I don't know what to do with that lack of noise...
I'm adrift and it's weird and it's all I want,
there's no wave that can turn my direction around.
There's a shore, there's a light, there is hope
where the land meets the sea
I will always believe I can get to you.
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5. |
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6. |
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7. |
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The boy was there when the day turned into night.
“There was a fight, there is a fight and there’ll always be a fight long after this is over”, he thought to himself,
as he understood there will never be a winner
and there will never be an end.
The rumble dissolved as the dust began to settle.
The air was clear and for the first time in a while,
you couldn’t hear a sound.
The boy closed his eyes, dreaming of an end to the invisible war.
“Peace in our time
what a beautiful wish…”
Then the bombs fell.
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8. |
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Looking back on it all,
of course it wasn’t perfect.
You shouldn’t want that in the first place...
Sometimes it wasn’t right,
sometimes it was too much and sometimes
I too was too little
for too many of you.
But you know what?
As wrinkly and rowdy as it was, it was good and it was worth it
for we were all together at one point or another
and we made good on a promise to feel together,
to try and heal together,
to … live.
We tried.
I was lonely, I was lonely a lot
but I was never alone.
Thank you for making me part of your tribe.
I felt it.
I felt it all.
I still do.
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It feels unambiguously evident the world has changed and the change is irreversible - add this to the sudden, profound realisation of my quasi-old age and you'll get a cocktail of emotions that's pretty tricky to consume and stay sane.
Luckily, music has always been a way to explore my dark corners, to share my feelings and my thoughts in a way other people could understand, accept and/or embrace. Emotions spoke to me and I took the time to write everything down, to assemble the words I heard and felt into something that could be labelled (generously) as poetry.
The concept for the execution remains the same: no fancy paint jobs, just music I assembled and edited by myself, in my room. "Hard Drive to Hard Drive" is a purely instrumental adventure but its follow-up is bravely venturing in another direction - "Open Secrets" is carefully balancing music and spoken word, trying its best to let you know who I am today.
